I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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