I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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