You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
