you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
