It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Come on in and take your pants off
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