So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
