Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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