She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
