Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
