why didn't you poke me back
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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