it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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