do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
