i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
