After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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