what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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