After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
