Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
