your parents love me but you hate me
where am i from again
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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