So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
