Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize