were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize