You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize