doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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