I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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