so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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