whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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