I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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