Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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