Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
