I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
