Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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