i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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