Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
