he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
