People in love make me want to vomit
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
