Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
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I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I believe in your delicious
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Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
ok first of all what the fuck
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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