you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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