There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
