Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
