is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I looked at my own cervix.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
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