I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
