Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
