Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
