I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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