Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
