i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
