How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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