I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
