she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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