this beer tastes like vomit already
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
