She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
