I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
