oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
