the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
