I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize