I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
