He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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