The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
