I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize